The Human Desire for Control

Quick Disclaimer: This was my final speech for a class so it is not written in essay form as it is meant to be spoken rather than read. However, I wanted to publish it so that more than just my classmates can hear it. So without further ado, here's my speech!

Wow what a year. Although this is my first year being a part of this wonderful class, I definitely learned A LOT. In my life outside of the classroom I’ve had probably the hardest year of my life but many discussions we had in class gave me little bits of insight that ultimately helped me make it through the year. We started off this class back in August and if there were two words I could use to describe my mental state at that point in time it would be overwhelmed and expectant. I was overwhelmed with so many things in my life at that point in time, but I was also expecting for more and more to be added to my plate. Honestly it was so much and I just wanted to keep everything under control. Which brings me to the topic I want to discuss today which is the desire to be in control.

For me, being in control means knowing how to deal with the circumstances around you effectively. Being in control means strength and authority and knowledge. As human beings we all desire to have control over our own lives and others to some extent. Yet, as christians we know we are called to surrender the little control we have to Jesus because He knows the best course of action. As our class saw throughout the year, many of the books we read showcased scenarios in which people let their desire for control control them. 

In Frankenstein we saw Victor Frankenstien create a monster. Victor wanted to play God and be all knowing. When the lost doctor finally realizes how terribly he messed up, the regret and desire to control his actions consumes him and he just wants to end the madness. However, too often mistakes we make cause an irreparable timeline of events that stretch beyond our control. This book to me was a great example of how our desire for knowledge and supremacy can outweigh rational thought. Because if we try to be in control of every aspect of our life, we are pretty much just telling God we know better than he does.

Now, when our class read Lord of the Flies we saw a fight for control as the boys, trapped on an island, fought to have at least a small amount of power over their circumstances. In their world of uncertainty and uncontrollable events, power was one of the few aspects of their life on the island that was relatively attainable. Being in control on the island was appealing because the boy in charge was able to dictate what actions the rest took. Knowing what’s coming provides a sense of security but in order to make it to that sense of security, the boys had to gain power and ultimately, control.

In 1984 the government was completely controlling their citizens down to the thoughts inside their minds. This power-seeking government wanted to play God in the same way Dr. Frankenstien wanted to play God. They wanted to control and create human life. This government had obtained so much control and power over their citizens they believed they now were creating their citizens.

Now in my day to day life I’m not creating monsters, fighting my peers to be chief, or ruling an all controlling government but I struggle with the desire to control. I want to control my circumstances, my emotions, my choices, and my life. I desire to know what’s next so I can prepare for it. In fact, one of the goals I have in life is to feel secure so striving for control over everything is the best way to do that right? WRONG! This year God has been working on my heart in many ways, specifically in these desires of mine. 

I have had to learn that sometimes being safe doesn’t mean knowing what comes next. Sometimes being safe means trusting in my God who ALWAYS knows what’s next. Sometimes being safe means handing my worries and fears to the Lord because He has a plan for me and that plan is far greater than anything I can imagine or prepare for.

In This is Our Time I was reminded of an extremely important truth. We are never at home on Earth because our eternal home is in Heaven with the Lord our God. Because we are never at home here on Earth, we won’t ever feel completely secure. Let me say that again, we won’t ever feel fully secure on Earth. This may sound scary, and slightly hopeless, and if I’m being honest, it still intimidates me. However, we aren’t supposed to feel at home on Earth, because our eternal home is with Christ. Christ died to make a way for us to get to our eternal home with our eternal father and Christ is with us through every out-of-control situation we will encounter here on earth.

So, as I read and mulled over this truth it’s become a great sense of comfort. I don’t have to have everything planned. Gods got me and he is never letting go. My life this year has been tumultuous at best but through it all I have been able to hold out hope for brighter days because I know that God is in control.